it was the day before xmas when family abandoned me and vamoosed to the unsalubrious shores of madras.I had thought I was in for a week of serene reading and calm broken by regular intakes of vodka / wine, music and possible blending with couch in front of tv. in short vegetate and grow roots slowly.
but life,as rod stewart puts it, is a bitch.i had driven clan to airport putting on a stoic face akin to families lost during partition.svelte woman behind counter in velvet voice which made harps ring and angels sing told me that flight to madras which came in from delhi was 5 hours late due to fog in delhi. i could have burnt woman to stake (in her mini skirt and revlon smile).
day 1 friday - lost in airport and no cath zeta jones too. only consolation amazing plum cake provided by neighbours and some wunderbar wine........ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
day 2 sat- nature takes revenge on my decadent living. family in madras but frantic calls from wife that there was an earthquake there and to make matters worse, mr. tsunami does his bit too.all that was missing was noah and his ark.sat glued to telly watching various regional weather newspersons being prophets of doom. son being oblivious to surrounding disaster would call me every hour that his pogo and cartoon network channels were on the blink...
day 3 sunday - my house has the curse of the wood goddess and is the environmentalist femme fatale delight. since the time i moved in, bees have taken particular liking to the place and have built hives of disparate shapes. pest control men being wise in their financial matters have ripped me of moolah and have tried everything from grease to something close to napalm. !!! in any case it has not solved matters.
the bees this time came in to work with much gusto and built something like a radical mullah's beard within 25 minutes. they then admired their handiwork and started to fight among themselves. now in addition to house being swarmed by bees, it was swarmed by rampaging tyson like bees.some restorative brandy did help and the homicide count among winged friends was quite high which I had to mop up. bee hive is now looking like day old stubble.
day 4 (today) monday - decided to get back to work and be slave to cubicle rather than stay at home and face impending new disaster.
moral of the story - elements are women and am sure wife has bribed them to ensure i am not lazing around.
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